


In Which The Doctor Believes That Penicillin Was a Far More Useful Accidental Discovery

by ninety6tears



Series: Rising Sign [2]
Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003), Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bodyswap, Gen, Meme Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-17
Updated: 2012-10-17
Packaged: 2017-11-18 20:51:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/565165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ninety6tears/pseuds/ninety6tears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for a trope meme for "bodyswap." (Some day I would love to write a proper sequel in this 'verse, but for now I'm afraid it's just some short crack.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Which The Doctor Believes That Penicillin Was a Far More Useful Accidental Discovery

McCoy kept checking his hand to make sure it was his again, and he noticed Jim doing the same thing as he turned to him with a sigh. “Once they get that thing working again, who’s next?”

“Scotty and Uhura still need to switch back...”

“Scott and _Uhura_? I’m almost sorry I missed that.”

“And then whoever else is in line. I can’t even keep track.”

“In the meantime I think I have to notify you as ship’s doctor that I cannot recommend Scott’s telepathically controlled transporter technology as a safe alternative to usual use,” McCoy said with heavy sarcasm, “you know, not just yet.”

“I don’t know if it will be all that necessary to inform him of that,” Jim said, before his attention was caught off to the side. “ _There’s_ Spock. Hey, where have you been?”

Kara was walking pertly at Spock’s side, and she said, “Captain, I will assume the question is rhetorical, as my assistance was needed in the calibrations for the reversal process.”

“Oh my double god dammit,” McCoy said, then slowly looked to the half-slouching, cross-armed form of Spock.

In a sardonic expression that was ten kinds of bizarre on Spock’s face, Kara ruefully said, “Hey, babe.”

“Okay, this is not real,” McCoy said, gesturing emphatically at Kara and Spock. “This is obviously a dream, it has to be, because this is literally my worst nightmare.”

“What the hell, man, you could have told me you got switched!” Jim said to Spock, who raised Kara’s eyebrow at the captain’s bad attempt to hide how entertaining this was to him.

“I should have left you in that quicksand on Asnil Beta Nine,” Kara said, scowling at Jim and pitching Spock’s usually clear-cut voice to a scratchy mumble. For this comment she got a mix of stern and curious written on her own face.

“Are you under the impression these circumstances are somehow the captain’s fault?”

“No. He’s just enjoying it way too much.”

Caught out, Jim tried to suppress a laugh, his eyes going between the two of them. “I’m sorry. It’s just...it is kind of hot.”

McCoy said, somewhere up to the ceiling, “I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.”

“At least we know how to _fix_ this issue,” Jim reasoned. When Kara rolled Spock’s eyes, he said, “Come on, Starbuck, did I not warn you about a hundred times that we get into some really weird shit out here?”

“Weird shit like the hallucinogenic vegetables on Beron, which you also got a kick out of?” Kara remembered. “While I was having a severe allergic reaction?”

McCoy added, “Or the nudist Karett ritual...”

“Hey, now, I participated in that for the mere sake of diplomacy and did not _enjoy_ it,” Jim said, trying for a stern expression. “...Much.”

Scotty’s voice came over the central comm. “Aye, so we’ve got the reversal process in full order, if everyone could please, uh, find the people currently inhabiting their anatomy and line up outside the transporter room, we’re trying to get this all taken care of in a timely fashion. And eh, for the sake of privacy please do not use the bathroom or undress for any reason, if it’s at all possible, for the next hour or so. Um.” 

“...He came so highly recommended,” McCoy muttered.

“What are you talking about?” Jim said. “It’s _genius_. It’s just not...convenient at the moment.”

“Let's see how convenient it's about to be for you that I have Vulcan strength at the moment, Kirk.”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna shut up now.”


End file.
